Open Letter to the San Francisco Municipal Transit Authority

Dear MUNI,

It's over. We're through, you and I.

Our relationship has been going on for almost twelve years. It started out so light-hearted; we'd see each other for part of my trip to the office, when I'd hop off the ferry at Embarcadero and take any subway line straight to Van Ness station. It was a reverse commute, so it was never crowded, and even when there were delays - yes, even then, there were delays - the subway line was still almost guaranteed to be faster than one of the street-level buses or the F Market, since they had to deal with traffic and had so many more stops.

Then I moved in, and we took the relationship a step further.

When I moved to the Sunset, a coworker warned me about the N Judah. It's unreliable, she said. In the middle of rush hour, it will suddenly announce that it's turning around at Sunset Blvd, and leave you stranded. No problem, I thought, I live on 27th Avenue, nine blocks before Sunset Blvd, so that kind of flightiness won't be an issue. We're not that dependent on each other.

Well, even then I should have seen the signs. I'd be out late with friends and be waiting for an hour or more for you to pick me up and take me home. Once, I even had to walk from 9th and Irving at one in the morning, because you just didn't show - even though the N is supposed to be an all-night line. Even worse was just trying to come home in the evening from work during rush hour. You'd get your fill of marketing and advertisement girls, finance guys, and old Chinese ladies downtown, and by the time you arrived at Van Ness station, you wouldn't have room to pick me up. I'd be waiting until 5:45, 6:00, even 6:30 before an N Judah would come that I could board.

Eventually I got wise. Instead of just hoping you'd follow through on your promises, I started playing to your strengths. I discovered your 16 express buses. From the days I lived on 23rd and Judah, I started taking the 16BX to and from work, and it was fast! And reliable! And I could get a seat even at the height of rush hour! Sure I had to walk several blocks to the stop at Fell and Gough, but it was worth it. Even after I moved down to 45th Avenue - beyond Sunset Blvd, where the last remnants of the N Judah's reliability were torn away - I could take the 16AX to Sunset and Irving and just walk the last nine blocks. Healthy exercise, right?

Then came the Spawn. No relationship is the same after children, MUNI, and you and I both knew things would change. But I still had hopes. After a few chaotic months, we settled into a routine. I'd drive my car (*gasp!* You see the seeds being planted?) to the day care, park, and drop off the Spawn. There's just no direct route from our apartment to the day care - it would require two transfers and an extra hour of travel time, lugging a baby (and later a toddler) onto one rush-hour-packed bus or train after another. It just wasn't going to happen, so the car was a necessity. Then I'd either take the L Taraval in from 17th Avenue all the way to Van Ness, or take the 48 bus to West Portal station and any line - K, L, or M - in from there. The mornings were good, MUNI.

They still are, mostly, for what it's worth. In the mornings you're usually on your best behavior. I'm rarely late to work and sometimes I'm even early. But by 5 o'clock, you've knocked back a few breakdowns, traffic delays, accidents, absentee operators, derailments, downed power lines, whatever you need to keep you (not) going through the day.

MUNI, I had it all worked out. It should have been so easy for you. From Van Ness to West Portal, I could take the K, L, M, or even S on ball game days. Then I could wait for (or stay on) the L Taraval and walk the last couple of blocks, or catch the 48 outside straight to my car, pick up the Spawn, and head home. But even this, you couldn't handle. I'd arrive at Van Ness to find the outbound platform packed with people. You'd show up with a two-car N, a J, another N, this one practically empty. Then a one-car M Ocean Beach, packed to the gills. Little Chinese ladies with shopping bags and high schoolers with big backpacks would cram themselves on, to a chorus of curses from the passengers already in the car. After a few minutes with the doors unable to close, away it would go, followed by another J, another N. A one-car L, again packed. By 5:40, if I was lucky, I might squeeze onto a train. I'd arrive at the day care at 5 minutes past 6, apologizing profusely to Babi for the third time that week. It's MUNI, I'd whimper. I'm sorry, I tried to get here on time.

And talk about high-maintenance! When we started going together, back in the ferry days, I got a free subway ride along with my ferry ticket. Nice! Then when I started seeing you exclusively, I started paying for monthly passes. To be honest, I can't keep track of all the fare increases. It started out around $35, I think. Then $40. Then $45. This year it went up to $60, and that's if I drop the option to ride on BART within the city. Sixty bucks?

This Spring you announced "further cutbacks in service" due to the budget shortfall. I know you mean well. The cuts were to weekends, holidays, and late night service, and to the last few stops on the lines - things that shouldn't have mattered to me, shouldn't have been a problem for you and I. But something's changed, MUNI. Your peak hour service is getting worse - I don't think it's just me. More and more often I arrive late at the day care. And now, the St. Francis Circle construction? As if it weren't hard enough to get on a train to West Portal, now once I'm on a car, I'm stuck in the subway for half an hour just trying to arrive! You have nine or ten cars backed up before West Portal, waiting for every one of the Ks and Ms to turn around right outside West Portal! It's 6:15 or 6:20 before I get to the day care, and that's if I leave work early. At least once or twice a month - at least that often, MUNI - I abandon all hope and go up and spend half an hour trying to catch a $20 cab ride instead.

You can say it's just temporary, MUNI, but it's a sign of a bigger problem. You don't know how to deal with yourself. I'm not going to lay the blame on the operators, or the management, or the mechanics, or Breda. I can't get inside your head and find the cure - that's not my job. All I can do is deal with the results. And I'll tell you how I'm dealing with it.

I talked to the parking lot attendant at my office building. I'm getting a parking spot. It's expensive - $175 a month - but it's worth it. I'm worth it.

Goodbye, MUNI.